Bible Study: Romans 12:10

Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another. -Romans 12:10

We come today to the second verse in our study of Romans 12:9-21. (I would encourage you to reread this passage as often as possible; it is very much worth having God's Word fresh in your mind.) This verse continues the line of thought from the first part of verse 9, on the subject of love. Two weeks ago, we established that our love for others is to be a genuine outpouring of God's unspeakable love for us. Here, Paul focuses on the expression of love among the Christian family (“to one another”) and gives us three standards to which we can hold ourselves.

-Affectionate. “Be kindly affectionate to one another” speaks of a love that seeks to reach out and uplift our brothers and sisters even when that love is unasked for and quite possibly unappreciated. If you have a crush, or you're in a relationship, certain things probably pop into mind when you hear the word “affection.” Obviously, Paul's not talking about physical affection. You're not required to walk around hugging everybody who crosses your path- although if that's your style, have at 'er! And no, you don't have to follow that ancient tradition of greeting folks with a kiss on each cheek (Romans 16:16). The modern equivalent of such a custom might be a firm handshake and a sincere smile. Paul is merely indicating that we are to treat each other with kindness and be thankful for the fellowship of other believers.

-Brotherly. This term draws a parallel from our physical, earthly families (moms, dads, brothers, and sisters) to our spiritual brotherhood as adopted sons and daughters of God. I realize that some of you don't have brothers, but I have six of them, so I can speak with some experience. The thing about brothers and sisters is that although you don't always agree with them, you don't always feel you're treated equally to them, and you don't always get along with them, you will always love them. I've seen family situations once and again where this is not the case and it stings my heart, because love for your brothers and sisters is a natural, God-ordained part of the family structure. In the same way, love for our Christian family should be unavoidable if we truly love our Father. I John 4:20-21 expounds on this: “If someone says, 'I love God,' and does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.” If you struggle with loving your family, whether physical or spiritual, I would strongly recommend you read the entire book of I John.

-Giving preference to one another. This is basically the definition of selflessness; the selfish person prefers himself to others, while the selfless seeks to honour others first. In Philippians 2:3, Paul clarifies this concept, saying, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” I have heard joy defined as this: “Jesus, Others, You.” This is indeed the correct way to prioritize our lives. Put God at the top of your list and yourself at the bottom; as you learn to treat others around you with respect and to not think highly of yourself, you will find the joy of the Lord. Not only that, but you will also be strengthening those around you as you demonstrate what a brotherly (or sisterly) bond of love truly is.

Recently, two people to whom I am very close were confronted as being “unloving.” Their crime was a habit of choosing not to ignore wrongs being done in the church but to take a stand for the truth of God's Word and to challenge those in opposition to it. The Bible is very clear that our love for one another does not require us to consistently overlook sins in others; Jesus, who loved more than any other man on earth, had to firmly confront Peter when he allowed his views to be manipulated by Satan (Matthew 16:22-23). Identifying and challenging sin in the lives of other Christians must be done prayerfully, respectfully, and on a firm Biblical basis, but it does not fall outside the boundaries of loving the brethren. If you see unaddressed sin in the life of your brother, follow the Biblical guidelines for dealing with it (Matthew 18:15-17). First, though, ask God to inspect your own heart and ensure that you are tackling the issue out of love, free from hypocrisy.

So how's your love life? Are you picking and choosing the people to whom you show preference and brotherly affection? Or are you esteeming all God's children as better than yourself and seeking to build up the family of God? You and I have a responsibility to grow daily in love for our brothers and sisters. The love ultimately exemplified in Christ on the cross must flow from God, through us, to others, as we learn to walk more closely with our Saviour.

Your brother in the faith,

-Jeremy

-Written December 4, 2011-